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V. C. Ackerman's avatar

Crummy Morning - Don’t take showers with the toaster helmet on.

Acting Up Again - Kyle can use his acting skills to pretend to eat his vegetables.

Fortune Cookie Fortunes - These are so good! I especially like “Ask her out. You are both equally boring”. That’s hilarious, insulting, and actually not bad advice. Don’t be shy and ask her out. It’s not like she’s a wizard or something.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Good tip!

Lots of kids do that.

Agreed. But I am not convinced about the wizard part. 😉🤣

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Tara Penry's avatar

Darn! Those are great fortunes. I don't know what the cookie factory people were thinking. Maybe a rival factory will snatch you up.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I know! Right? What were they thinking? I may have to start my own business. 😉

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just mud by Ron's avatar

My belly laugh shaking risks waking my wife!😂🤣😁

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Thanks, Mud. You might want to put up a pillow wall just in case. 🤣

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Cyn Taylor's avatar

They can. I looked into that. But those really are huge! And they will explode if you encounter your younger, or older, self during your travels. Bummer!

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Mark Starlin's avatar

You obviously haven't gone far enough into the future. They make ones that are the size of a grain of rice.

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Cyn Taylor's avatar

You are correct. Mine fits in the palm of my hand. And nobody knows that.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I have heard they can implant them under the skin now. Not that I would know.

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Jack Herlocker's avatar

“Fortune Cookie Fortunes” — definitely stealing some of these! 😁

“Acting Up Again” — 👍 Only fault is that the meal photo you picked looks WAY too delicious for family cooking. Or am I revealing too much about my dear mother’s meal ability?

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Mark Starlin's avatar

The fortunes were fun to write.

We had simple meals at my house when I was a kid. My wife worked outside the home so we usually did fast and easy meals also (sharing the cooking duties.) But my youngest daughter cooks like this every meal. I guess it depends on the Mom or Dad (and if they both work outside the home.)

My daughter worked (and got her masters degree) until she had children and then she left her job to stay home with the children. But my son-in-law can support them on his salary. This is not always the case. It certainly wasn't for me.

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Jack Herlocker's avatar

My mother, bless her heart, was a SAHM until my sister and I were in high school. (She eventually went back to school, added BS and Masters to her RN, and worked her way up to Director of Health Services at a retirement facility — if I tend to gravitate toward strong, achieving women, it’s her fault.) Alas, she grew up on a farm, and “food, lots, NOW” was the important thing when cooking. It wasn’t until I got out in the world that I discovered “Do you want crunchy or wet?” was NOT a standard question when being served soufflé, despite it being a fixture of my youth. (If I tend to see nothing wrong with women who do not cook as well as I do, that’s also my mother’s fault! 😁)

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I worked as a cook in a restaurant (Bill Knapp's) as a teen. So I learned to cook well. My Mom is a good baker. Her cinnamon rolls are world famous (at least any one who had one thinks so.) But her cooking skills are... Not as advanced. 🤣 My Dad was the worst! Cut up hotdogs in Cream of Chicken soup and noodles! SPAM! 😬 Or Chef Boyardee Spaghetti.

I didn't have meat in my spaghetti until I started dating my wife. And her Mom made her sauce from scratch! The Chef Boyardee spaghetti sauce was supposed to have meat, but you needed a microscope to find it. 🤣

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

I'm still laughing as I write this. And I would have loved getting one of your fortune cookies!

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Thanks, Elizabeth. Perhaps I'll start a cookie company. 😉🤣

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Elle Griffin's avatar

Ha! I love the fortunes!

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Thanks, Elle. I am planning to do some on Notes also. 🤓

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Cyn Taylor's avatar

I don't view using my time machine as cheating. Um...I mean...yes. Using a time machine would be cheating, if I had one. Which I don't. As far as Alexa knows.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Because it is impossible to time travel. And a Time Machine will definitely not fit in a shed out in the backyard. Everyone knows this.

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Claire Walster's avatar

Great fortunes! My favorite has to be "Ask her out. You're both equally boring." 😂😂

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I am not saying I actually got that one, but... 🤣

Wouldn't it be more fun if they were really like that?!

Thanks, Claire!

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Claire Walster's avatar

It would be so fun!!

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Justin Deming's avatar

Hahaha! The fortune cookies were hilarious. Please write more. I once received a fortune cookie that read, “You enjoyed your meal. Would you like another?” But yes, I did enjoy the meal. 🤣

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Thanks, Justin. I thought I might make them a regular feature on Notes.

If I got your fortune, I would have thought, "Is it free?"

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Justin Deming's avatar

🤣 🤣

Great idea regarding Notes!

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I like the idea of using notes to post actual content. I think they will be more effective at attracting readers than links to stories. Plus it will be fun!

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Justin Deming's avatar

Agreed. I like the idea of posting short-form content there.

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John K Adams's avatar

'Acting Up Again' was straight out of my childhood. Could'a been me. I finally learned that I cannot remember lines and got into a different line of work. Although I did do the voice of a talking bomb - twice!

As for the fortunes, you just saved me a fortune in Chinese food!

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I learn something new all the time. I didn't know you were an actor. Voice overs are "the bomb!" 🤪 You need to share that story!

Glad I could help.

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John K Adams's avatar

Trust me. I'm no actor.

The whole talking bomb saga is pretty funny though.

I'll fill you in soon.

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Cyn Taylor's avatar

Mine are more of the current kind. Never put much store if foretelling the future, by myself, or anyone else. Except in fiction, of course.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Smart. Unless you own a time machine. But that is cheating.

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Rudolph Ferro's avatar

Hilarious stories, Mark. Both sounded like the people that live next door to me. Keep the wonderful humor coming. We all need it these days. Rudy Ferro, rferro0322@gmail.com

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Mark Starlin's avatar

So true. We need to balance all the bad news. Thanks, Rudolph.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

True story: I got a fortune in a cookie once that said "Desires are not necessarily needs.Take cold showers." I rejected it immediately.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

🤣🤣 It wasn't one of mine. But it is funny.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

" Dad, you’re the one who’s always telling me to follow my dreams. Yeah, that was stupid. I meant baseball." Ha Ha Ha! My advice would be follow your dreams, kid, as long as your dreams point you in the direction of paying your rent and away from sleeping on other people's couches. Funny piece, Mark. I aways like to see what you come up with.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

Dreams are great. We need them. But we need to pay our bills also!

It is best to also have some smaller, attainable dreams.

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