Why I Can Never Be A One-Name Musician

At least in the US

Marcus Neto

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Some musicians are so well known they can go by their first name only, like Cher or Elvis or Beyonce or Bono. Bono is a stage name, by the way. His real name is Paul David Hewson, which is obviously not even remotely as cool as Bono. Which rhymes with Mono. Which is kind of ironic since U2’s music is all in stereo.

Anyway, the one-name thing doesn’t really work for Mark. You can’t throw a stone without hitting a Mark in the clavicle. There were literally four Marks in one of the bands I played in.

I thought about changing my name to Reginaldo, but I don’t look much like a Reginaldo, and people already know me as Mark.

Then I thought about changing the spelling of my name to Reginaldo but still pronouncing it Mark. But then I realized that it would take me longer to sign autographs. Not that it is much of a concern outside of Spain, where I am a sensation and go by the name Marcos.

I’m A Spanish Sensation

In the States, I can sign my name 20% faster than in Spain, but I only have a fraction of the fan base. The irony! Regardless, in either country, Reginaldo would likely cause hand cramps.

Not willing to give up on the Reginaldo idea, I thought perhaps I could spell it Mark and pronounce it Reginaldo. That would be very artsy. Although it might be slightly confusing to less artistic people.

Then, I considered borrowing a page from Prince’s superstar handbook and changing my name to a symbol. I was thinking about the nuclear warning symbol. However, that might make putting up posters at concert venues problematic.

So then I thought about using a stage name like Bono and started writing down possible choices. I came up with “Chibblewibble,” “Bomberbreath,” “Lump,” and “Alleyheater.” But the great name ideas just kept coming. It became impossible to choose from so many awesome choices.

So, I figure I will just stick with using my real last name. It goes pretty well with Mark. I am just glad my family name isn’t Onapaper or Ofshame.

On the bright side, having the name Mark does open up a lot of album title possibilities:

He’s An Easy Mark

He Left A Permanent Mark

Mark Of Excellence

Missed The Mark

The hard truth is, Mark is just too commonplace. You aren’t going to see any famous one-named musicians named Mark.

Mark my words.

Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.

Mark