One Minute Wit
Simple Pleasures
Of life
They say life’s simple pleasures are the best.
Which is why I have remained a simpleton all these years.
50-Word Story
Plausible Deniability
A contraband story
Keith parked four houses away. He walked into the open garage and handed Jerry a box.
“Thanks. I needed these.”
“This the last time. If she finds out, we’re both dead.”
“I promise.”
Keith’s phone rang.
“You bought him donuts again, didn’t you?”
“Mom, he’s 87. Does it really matter?”
Story
Andalucia
-1962-
It was Daniel’s first day of vacation. He had booked a room at Hotel Joseín on Comillas Beach in western Cantabria. Daniel had never been to Spain, but he kinda liked the music. And he spoke Spanish. So it seemed like a good fit.
He was eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant while gazing out at the beach. His mind began drifting, and he wondered if Spain Spanish was different than Mexican Spanish. American and British English have different words for the same thing, like elevator and lift. Would Spanish? He figured he would find out soon enough. After he finished eating, he decided to take a walk on the beach. He returned to his room and put on some beach clothes.
As he strolled down the beach past the sunbathers and the book-readers under umbrellas, he came to a sudden halt. He gasped. Sitting in the sand was an empty blue folding chair. Resting on the chair was a straw sun hat with a pink ribbon. Laying next to the chair on the sand was a magazine and a pair of sandals.
His heart nearly stopped. He placed his towel on the sand, not far from the chair, and waited. Almost a half-hour passed, and no one returned to the chair. He noticed footprints heading away from the chair, so he followed them. The footprints led him off the beach onto a side street. He looked both ways and saw only an old man.
The old man said, “Are you looking for something, Amigo?”
“Someone, I think. Has a woman come this way recently?”
“Only Andalucia,” the man replied.
“I am trying to find the woman who left a blue folding chair on the beach.”
“That would be Andalucia. Do you know her?” the old man asked.
“Not yet,” Daniel said. “But I need to talk to her. It’s important. Do you know which way she went?”
“She had forgotten her sunscreen and was going to her car to get it. We chatted for a moment. Then a stray cat came up to her and started rubbing against her legs. She started petting it. I told her it was not wise to pet the cat or it would follow her. She said, ‘How could anyone not want this precious kitty? Hey, little kitty, would you like something to eat?’ She asked me if I had any fish. I said no, but told her she could get some fish from the fishermen on the pier. She thanked me, and the two of them headed that way.”
“How will I recognize her? Daniel asked.
“She is tall, wearing a bright yellow coverup over an orange swimsuit. Black hair.”
“Gracias,” Daniel said as he headed toward the pier.
When he got to the pier, Daniel started to think maybe this was a crazy idea. What would he say if he found her? Daniel decided he would just find her and then see what happened. Perhaps he wouldn’t say anything at all. He talked to the first fisherman he found on the pier.
“Hola, have you seen Andalucia? She’s tall, wearing a yellow coverup. She probably had a cat with her,” Daniel asked.
“Sí, she was here. I sold her a fish. I thought she was buying it to cook, so I asked her how she planned to cook it. She said it was for her cat. I told her the fish was too good for a cat and gave her a couple of baitfish for the cat.”
“Do you know which way she went?” I asked.
“I told her to take the fish to Mateo, and he would grill it for her. He runs the pool grill at the hotel.”
“Gracias,” Daniel said and headed toward the hotel.
When Daniel got to the pool, he saw a man grilling food on a large outdoor grill.
“Are you Mateo?”
“Sí.”
“I am trying to find Andalucia. She brought a fish here to be cooked. She had a cat with her.”
“You missed her. I grilled her fish and told her she needed some rice to go with it to make it a nice lunch. She said a picnic lunch was a wonderful idea. So I sent her to the main kitchen to get some rice from Camila.”
“Gracias,” Daniel said and headed toward the hotel restaurant.
When Daniel got to the restaurant, he asked a waiter if he could speak to Camila. A few minutes later, she came out of the kitchen.
“I am Camila. May I help you?”
“I hope so. I am looking for Andalucia. Mateo said he sent her here to get some rice.”
“Sí, I gave her some rice.”
“Do you know where she went afterward?”
“I told her she should also get some churros from Diego at the ice cream shop.”
“Gracias,” Daniel said and headed toward the ice cream shop.
At the ice cream shop, Daniel asked Diego if he had seen Andalucia.
“She was here and bought a couple of churros.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
“No. But I saw her head back toward the beach.”
“Gracias,” Daniel said and headed back toward the beach.
Daniel walked back to where Andalucia’s chair had been sitting. It was gone. He was crushed. What a fool, he thought, trying to track down a woman I don’t even know. She is not her. He went back to the hotel and tried to forget about it.
He couldn’t forget about it. The next day he went back to the beach, to the same spot as the previous day. The blue chair was there again. But no Andalucia. He noticed two sets of footprints heading away from the chair. One human and one cat. He decided he wouldn’t play the fool again and set his towel near the chair and waited.
Twenty minutes later, a tall woman in a red swimsuit and a bright yellow coverup, carrying a picnic basket, walked up to the chair and sat down. A cat was following right behind her.
Andalucia looked at Daniel and said, “Hola. Are you staying at the hotel?”
“Sí, it is my second day here,” Daniel replied.
“Are you enjoying your stay?”
“I am. Are you a local?”
“Sí, my name is Andalucia.”
“I’m Daniel.”
Just then, Diego from the ice cream shop walked up to Andalucia and handed her two churros. Then he whispered something in her ear and left.
Andalucia stood up and said, “I am detective Pérez of the Cantabria police department. You are under arrest. Stand up and put your arms behind your back.”
“Under arrest? For what?”
“Stalking. Do as I say.”
“What?”
“You followed me to several places yesterday. I have witnesses at five locations who told me you were trying to find me.”
“I wasn’t stalking you. I was just curious.”
“I am curious also. But we will discuss it at the station. Let’s go.”
She led him off the beach and to a police car. Five minutes later, Daniel was behind bars in a holding cell.
One hour later, Daniel found himself sitting in an interrogation room. Andalucia walked in and sat across from him.
“Why were you stalking me?”
“I wasn’t. Well, I didn’t mean to. It’s stupid, really. My wife used to take a blue folding chair to the beach, and she always wore a straw sunhat just like yours. And she loved to read magazines. When I saw your chair, hat, and magazine, it reminded me of her. I decided to look for the chair’s owner. It was crazy, I know. I am sorry.”
“Where is your wife now?”
“She died a year ago. This is my first vacation since she died. I didn’t want to spend the anniversary of her death moping around the house. I thought a trip to someplace new might distract me.”
“I am sorry for your loss. We will check on your story. You may return to your hotel. But do not leave Cantabria. We will hold onto your passport for now.”
“Thank you, detective. Again, I am very sorry.”
The next day, Andalucia’s partner put down the phone. “His story checks out. His wife died one year ago today. He has no criminal record. He’s clean. Probably just lonely.”
“Thanks, Santiago. I’ll take his passport back to him. I am going to the beach for lunch anyway. I am getting hooked on grilled fish and rice. Lucky loves it too.”
“I can’t believe you kept that stray cat.”
“I think she kept me.”
“Ha, ha. That sounds about right.”
Two days later, the blue folding chair sat empty on the beach again. Next to it, on a blanket, sat a woman, a cat, and a man. Eating grilled fish, rice, and churros.
Happy Monday.
Mark
The story of Daniel and Andalucia made my eyes teary.
Andalucia - good story, Mark. I may have found a typo..."What a fool, he thought, trying to track down a woman I don’t even know. She is not her". Is "her" supposed to be "here"?