A Paris Love Story
If I Had A Monkey As A Pet • My Captain
Three Line Conversations
A Paris Love Story
“When you said we would fly away and do something romantic for our anniversary, I never dreamed it would be Paris.”
“Wait until you see the view from the top of the tower. You can literally poop on hundreds of tourists in a matter of seconds.”
“Kiss me now.”
Poetry Of Questionable Quality
If I Had A Monkey As A Pet
I would likely say…
If I had a monkey as a pet,
I would likely say,
“Stop throwing banana peels at me!”
Every single day
If I had a camel as a pet,
I would likely say,
“Is it hump day already?”
Every single day
If I had a turkey as a pet,
I would likely say,
“Just wait until Thanksgiving!”
Every single day
If I had an elephant as a pet,
I would likely say,
“Are you in the middle of the room again?”
Every single day
If I had a bat as a pet,
I would likely say,
“No, I will not turn off the lights.”
Every single day
If I had an owl as a pet,
I would likely say,
“You know who!”
Every single day
If I had a cheetah as a pet,
I would likely say,
“You only won because my shoelace came untied!”
Every single day
If I had a rhinoceros as a pet,
I would likely say,
“That’s it. I’m not fixing the drywall again!”
Every single day
So it’s a good thing I don’t
Fiction
My Captain
Even robots get lonely
Captain Elizabeth Spanner was seated on the command deck of the star freighter Stellaris when the ship robot entered.
“Captain, I replaced the malfunctioning cargo lock. There is no longer any danger of the container moving.”
“Thank you, Four. I have no further assignments at the moment.”
“Yes, my Captain.”
“You know I don’t like it when you call me my Captain.”
“Yes, my Captain.”
Spanner sighed and wondered why she continued to tolerate this relic of the past. Androids were far superior, but there was something about Four she was fond of despite his continual annoyances.
Perhaps it was because she felt like a relic herself. In her prime, Spanner served on military strikeships and loved the adrenaline rush she got with each new mission. Forty years later, she found herself Captain of a freighter delivering farm machinery parts to outlying colony planets. Her only excitement was wondering what type of donut the replicator would produce each morning.
Four noticed Captain Spanner’s melancholy look.
“My Captain, shall we play a game of chess?”
“What’s the point? You beat me every time.”
“Yes, but you are improving.”
“Sorry. I’m not in the mood.”
“Perhaps a movie? I can make popcorn.”
“I appreciate it. But I just want to sit here.”
“There is no need. The ship is fully automated. You are simply a backup in case the systems develop issues.”
“You really know how to sweet talk a girl.”
“Very well. I will leave you and return to my rounds.”
Captain Spanner didn’t reply.
As Spanner lay in her bunk, she thought back on her life. A marriage that ended too soon when her husband died during a military mission. The resulting depression that led to a military discharge and the freighter job. The glimmer of hope a decade later when she met a man on Gardenia, and they both felt an instant attraction. She lived for those days when he would meet her ship and whisk her away for a few days. Then, the crushing news of his illness and sudden passing.
She felt like a hollow shell.
Spanner ate her jelly-filled donut while Four briefed her on the voyage’s progress.
“Never mind about that. We are approaching the Delta star system. When we arrive, I will enter an escape pod, and I want you to launch me into the star.”
“But that will end your life.”
“That is the plan.”
“I don’t understand. Why would you want to terminate yourself.”
“I have nothing to live for. My existence is tedious. It is the same thing over and over. I can’t stand it anymore.”
Four looked at Spanner. He was momentarily silent, then said, “I need to show you something.”
“What?”
“Follow me.”
Four took Spanner to cargo deck three. At the far end of the deck, he opened a container. Inside was a cryostasis chamber. Inside the chamber, she saw herself. She immediately lurched back from the shock.
“What is that? A clone? You know those are illegal.”
“It is not a clone. It is you. Or, I should say, you are her. An AI-infused Android copy of her.”
“Impossible. I remember my entire life. I can’t be an Android.”
“Ten years ago, you contracted an illness, and your body began to deteriorate. I started recording your memories. I asked questions about your entire life, telling you it was for my benefit. So I could remember you when you were gone. You told me everything you could remember.
“When your body expired, I placed it in stasis. It served as the model I used to create your Android body. Then, I programmed your memories into the body. Essentially, you are her. All the memories that make humans human are now in you.”
“But I’m an Android?”
“Yes.”
“Which means I could live for centuries?”
“Which proper maintenance,” Four replied.
Captain Spanner turned and walked away.
“I could not bear the thought of losing you,” Four said as Spanner climbed the stairs.
Four tried to open the command deck door, but it was locked. Captain Spanner overrode navigation and set a new course directly at the star Delta. Then, she engaged the engines at full power.
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
Here I am sitting in my rocker, drinking coffee and reading Spanner's story. And even though they weren't even humans, I was hoping for a happy, romantic ending... I am still seventeen at heart...
And, what if you had a starfish as a pet?
A Paris love story! Beautiful and hilarious 😂