Why You Should Wear A Kayak As A Hat

And stop bugging me about it

Mark Starlin

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Since people constantly stop me to ask about it, I have decided to create a list of the most significant advantages and disadvantages of wearing a kayak as a hat, which I like to refer to as “Kayakats.”

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Advantages:

• You always have shade. You can even share the shade with shorter friends.

• You never know when you might happen to walk by an inviting body of water. You’re ready.

• “Chick Magnet” (for you single dudes.)

• Being on the cutting edge of a new trend. No more “Boring Bobby.”

• Fits way better than a canoe.

• Provides plenty of personal space when you have to wait in a line (or a queue when you’re in England).

• Makes you appear “sporty.”

• Allows you to read your tablet outside during strong sunlight conditions.

• Increased neck muscle strength.

• You can pretty much laugh at the rain.

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Disadvantages:

• If you plan to drive, you will need to invest in a roof rack or a convertible.

• Subways are tricky.

• The bright colors make Kayakats appealing targets for birds.

• You need to avoid bulls if you have a red Kayakat (a bigger problem in Spain than in the US).

• You can forget about using revolving doors.

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Summary:

As you can see, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Hopefully, now that you are armed with helpful information regarding Kayakats, I can go for a walk without answering so many questions.

Have a Kayaky day.

Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.

Mark