Why Do People Still Use Roman Numerals?
An Alternative To Pizza • Love, Life, And A Rock Quarry (part 2)
One Minute Wit
An Alternative To Pizza
If I can’t have a pizza, can I have a round piece of flattened dough covered in tomato sauce, cheese, chicken, peppers, onions, and pineapple baked in a hot oven until golden brown, please?
Inquisitive Poetry
Why Do People Still Use Roman Numerals?
Why are Roman numerals still in use?
A fitting answer, I cannot deduce
Fifteen hundred years ago
The Roman Empire fell
Still, their numbers linger on
It is time to say farewell
Hindu-Arabic Numerals
Are the numbers we daily use
Begun in the first century
They are less likely to confuse
Indian mathematicians
Designed a simpler way
To represent the numbers
Which they wanted to convey
Adopted by the Persians
Just five hundred years later
And spread around by merchants
No need for a translator
Europe was won over
By the twelfth century
It’s time to get onboard
For less obscurity
You say you have a valid reason
For using so many Is and Vs
In the interest of equal time
Why don’t we look at some of these
You forgot how to write
The numbers we all use
Sorry, I don’t buy it
It’s such a lame excuse
You are typing on your laptop
All the words that you have spoken
But when it’s time for numerals
Oops, your number keys are broken
You say you really don’t want to
But accept the realization
They are a requirement of
Your stuffy organization
You are a manufacturer
Producing clocks that tick and chime
You like to confuse consumers
Who only wanted to tell time
They make you feel like you’re a spy
With your own special secret code
It is kind of like Pig Latin
Nonsense you know we can’t decode
You found a blue police box
Sitting just outside your home
So you went inside of it
And wound up in ancient Rome
You simply like the way they look
I guess there’s nothing wrong with that
So you use them in your book
Perhaps you’re an aristocrat
Are any of these valid?
Well, you judge them, I just can’t
You can call me Claudius
This is the end of my rant
©MMXXIV Mark Starlin
Serial Story
Love, Life, And A Rock Quarry
An uncommon tale
Part 2
In the previous part, Swimvest bought a rock quarry and planned to turn it into a recreational facility. He started buying fire hoses to tap into the town's water supply and fill the quarry.
Three nights later, as Swimvest was burying a hose in the field outside of town, he saw two men with flashlights walking his way. He thought about running, but it was too late. They had obviously seen him and would discover the hose. So he stood his ground.
It was Mayor Blabbings.
“Swimvest, Sheriff Orderman got a call about some suspicious activity out here, so we came out to investigate. You mind telling us what you’re up to?”
Sheriff Lawford Orderman stood with one hand on his hip and one hand on his pistol. He didn’t get much chance to intimidate, so he took this opportunity to practice.
“You ain’t gonna like it,” Swimvest replied.
“Go ahead,” Mayor Blabbings said.
“I was planning on tapping into the town’s water supply to fill the bottom of my quarry with water. It’s for the good of the town.”
“How do you figure that?” Sheriff Orderman inquired.
“We all know since the quarry closed, the town is dying a slow death. Folks are moving away. There aren’t enough jobs here anymore. So I plan to use the quarry to attract visitors and boost the economy of the town.”
“I’m not following you, Swim,” Mayor Blabbings said.
“I plan to make the quarry into a recreational facility. People will come to jump off the cliffs into the water and go swimming. They will buy food and gas and stuff in town while they’re here. And I will build a floating restaurant down in the quarry so folks can eat while watching people cliff-jump.”
“That’s a right ambitious project. And I believe your heart is in the right place. But it would take more water than our reserves hold to fill that quarry. And it would likely take years using a hose. You ain’t thought this through. Not to mention taking town water without paying a water bill is stealing,” Blabbings said.
Swimvest felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. “I suppose you’re right. Are you going to take me in?”
“No need. You haven’t technically stolen anything yet. And I’m sure if you fill in the trench you dug on town property, all will be forgiven,” the Sheriff replied.
“Thank you, Sheriff,” Swimvest replied.
“Go home, Swim. Get some sleep,” Mayor Blabbings said and patted Swimvest on the shoulder.
Swimvest went home, but he didn’t get any sleep. His mind would not shut off. All his plans and dreams were pointless without the water.
Swimvest eventually dragged himself out of bed around noon. Shortly after, he heard a knock on his door.
Not that snoopy Lester again. I’ll bet anything he made that call about me last night, he thought as he opened the door. But it wasn’t Lester. It was Bill Blaster. The former foreman of the quarry.
“Hey, Swim. I heard about your plan for the quarry.”
“News travels fast,” Swimvest replied.
“Small town. Listen, if you are serious about filling that quarry, I know how to do it.”
“What?”
“Why do you think they closed the quarry?”
“I don’t know. I never thought too much about it.”
“It’s because they were about to hit groundwater on the western wall.”
“Really?”
“Yup. All you need is a few sticks of dynamite, and that quarry will be a new lake in no time.”
“Can you get some? And help me do it?”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Awesome!”
“Well, it’s gonna cost you. You know I lost my job when the quarry closed. I could have moved on with the company, but I’m getting too old. I want to settle here and retire. It’s obvious you have vision, but you ain’t got business smarts. Make me a partner, and I will help you run the business.”
Swimvest didn’t need to think twice. “Deal. When do we start blasting?”
Bill laughed. “It will take some time to get the needed materials and permits. Probably a few weeks.”
“That long?”
“The wheels of municipality turn slowly. But it’ll be a lot quicker than that half-witted fire hose idea of yours.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Bill laughed again.
A week later, Swimvest got a call from Bill.
“Swim, we got a problem.”
“What?”
“Oldman Cardigan. He is opposing the quarry venture. He hired a lawyer to keep us from proceeding.”
“Why?”
“He says the traffic and noise will ruin the town. And since he lives closest to the quarry, he will be most affected.”
“I thought the Mayor was on board.”
“He is. But he has to follow the law. And Oldman’s lawyer has an injunction against us. We may have to hire a lawyer of our own.”
“I ain’t got no money for a lawyer.”
“I know. I am going to see if I can get the town to hire one.”
“Can’t we just go talk to Oldman? Convince him to change his mind.”
“We can try, but he’s a stubborn one.”
Continues next week.
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
"Mayor Blabbings." "Lawford Orderman". Wonderful names!
Go, Swimvest! Live the dream. ( Blabbings is such a great name for a petty politicians.)