The Pirate Captain
Baron Britpop Blastfurnace • Chapter 8
Soon, The Jellyfish pulled alongside us, and under the watchful eye of many armed pirates, the pirate Captain boarded the Sea Merchant II. He was roughly the same build as Captain Desmet, but I would place my wager on Desmet in a fistfight. Desmet looked more robust than the pirate Captain, who had almost boyish features. I’m not sure what I thought a pirate Captain would look like, but certainly not this fellow.
As he approached, he caught my eye and said, “Captain Desmet, I see you have guests aboard. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Captain Peanut Butter.”
I wasn’t sure if I should speak but thought it rude not to. I began to open my mouth when Captain Desmet grabbed my arm and squeezed it tightly. Then said, “Captain, this is Baron Britpop Blastfurnace, an associate of the Grand Duke.”
“Well met,” said the pirate. “I trust the Captain has explained our arrangement. You have nothing to fear. We will collect our tax and be on our way shortly.”
Sensing that Captain Desmet didn’t want me to interact with the pirate Captain, and since I didn’t know how to reply anyway, I simply nodded.
The pirate flashed a mischievous grin and said, “Come, Desmet, let’s see what you have for me.”
To my utter amazement, Desmet led Captain Peanut Butter directly to a stack of crates set aside on the deck. I quietly asked Vidor what the crates were, and he said, “Those crates be one-tenth of the cargo. Separated before departure in case The Jellyfish discovers us. The Cap’n don’t like wastin’ any more time than necessary with pirates and always has the plunder ready to go.”
I was expecting the pirates to open the crates, but they didn’t. Instead, they started transferring them to the pirate ship. Captain Desmet stood expressionless and watched the process. Apparently, both Captains trusted each other, although I doubt there was any kinship between them. Still, there was something oddly likable about this smiling pirate Captain.
In my amazement at the events that were unfolding, I had temporarily forgotten about my own plight. Then, a most unusual thought entered my head. In a fit of madness, for it surely was madness, I walked over to the pirate Captain.
“Captain Peanut Butter, I understand you have an arrangement with the Grand Duke for one-tenth of the cargo on board. I would like to make my own arrangement. I will give you one-tenth of my traveling silver if you take me and my companion on as members of your crew for a short time.”
Instantly, Captain Desmet pulled me aside and shouted, “Are you mad? These are pirates, boy. I am under orders from the Grand Duke to keep you safe. I cannot allow this insanity.”
Then he quickly turned back to Captain Peanut Butter and said, “Ignore the boy. He is young and foolish and doesn’t know what he is asking.”
Captain Peanut Butter tilted his head and replied, “Boy? You introduced him as a Baron. Did you not?”
“Aye, he is a Baron, but his title was a gift. He still has the mind of a boy.”
Captain Peanut Butter looked at me inquisitively. He motioned to the pirates surrounding him and calmly said, “What makes you think we won’t just kill you once you’re on board and take all your silver?”
After a moment’s thought, I replied, “Perhaps it is because I am young and foolish. I cannot say. But I sense that you are a man of integrity and will honor your word.”
Suddenly, in a loud, forceful voice, Peanut Butter bellowed, “I am a pirate, boy. You know nothing of my character!” Then, after a pause, he calmly said, “But I have to admit you have awakened my curiosity. You are either the most accomplished fool I have ever met or the bravest. But you are a fool either way.”
I figured that was the end of it and was somewhat relieved. Then, after another long look, the pirate Captain said, “I will accept your offer and will take you as far as Spain. Then perhaps you can judge the character of King Philip also.”
With that remark, the pirate crew burst out in great fits of laughter while looks of terror spread across both Captain Desmet and Andelbert’s faces.
“I would prefer France if it is possible,” I replied.
Captain Peanut Butter gave me a surprised look and then started laughing.
“Perhaps you would like to be Captain of The Jellyfish, also?”
Captain Desmet interrupted, “Captain Peanut Butter, I pray that you allow me a moment to discuss this privately with the Baron.”
“Be quick. The cargo is nearly loaded,” the pirate Captain replied.
We stepped away, and Captain Desmet spoke quietly but with great urgency.
“You cannot go through with this. Pirates are no respecters of title. They will take all you have and toss you overboard, laughing all the while. And now you have put us all in a dangerous position. If I refuse to allow you to go with him, Peanut Butter may take it as aggression. And we cannot win a fight against him. If I do allow you to go, I will face the wrath of the Grand Duke for allowing it. Curse you and your stupidity. You must tell him you have changed your mind.”
“Captain, I cannot explain why, but I must go with Captain Peanut Butter. Grand Duke Goatbeard told you to honor all my requests. Did he not?”
After hesitating, he curtly replied, “He did.”
“Then honor my wish to leave. Bring me paper and a quill. I will write a letter to the Grand Duke explaining everything, including how you were diligent in trying to dissuade me.”
As I wrote the letter, Captain Desmet continued to speak reason to me. But I truly was young and foolish and would not listen. All I could hear was my own fear telling me to escape this ship at any cost. I completed my letter to the Grand Duke and also one to my father, informing him of my plight and imploring him to be careful. I sealed them with wax and handed them to Captain Desmet. Then Andelbert—who had gathered our belongings while I wrote—and I boarded The Jellyfish with the pirate Captain Peanut Butter.
