Local Bakery Shut Down
News From Boringville
Citizens of Boringville were shocked to learn that a bug infestation had hit The Local Bakery. Bakery owner Sam Knead’s attempts to dismiss the bugs as raisins were not well received. Helen Highfalutin quickly organized a protest and made several appropriate signs with slogans such as Stop Bugging Us and Get The Bread Out.
Police were called in to disperse the un-boring crowd of pastry-loving protesters. As one protester was being dragged away, he was heard shouting, “I just wanted a bear claw!”
After a sufficient number of citations were issued and a fumigator was employed “at great expense,” The Local Bakery reopened under new management.
A line quickly formed on opening day and spilled out into the street. Helen Highfalutin was seen at the scene. When asked what she was going to purchase, she replied, “Oh, I never eat pastries. I’m just here to make sure none of the raisins move.”
New manager, Willy Bakit, was visibly pleased with the size of the crowd and broke into a funky dance. A citation for unnecessary displays of public happiness was issued, and boringness was resumed — to the relief of all.
Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
🤔 I donut have a witty reply for this one.
Oh cruller!
We had a similar disturbance in Dulltown, but it was the donut shop, and the police were at the forefront of the protest.