Raid On The French Merchant Ship
Baron Britpop Blastfurnace • Chapter 29
As Captain Peanut Butter had hoped, the merchant ship quit trying to flee once it saw our pirate flag. Soon, it ran a flag of its own up its mast—a white flag of surrender. I was relieved.
“Come alongside her slowly. Let them see our cannons and guns,” the Captain ordered.
As we came alongside the merchant ship, every crew member not needed to sail the ship stood at the rail with muskets pointed at the merchant vessel.
The Captain turned to me and said, “You will accompany me as I board her.”
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say, so I simply nodded. The Captain chose Stout and Barrelhoop to join us. We climbed into a rowboat and started rowing toward the merchant vessel. My heart was pounding, and I could barely control my shaking hands. While the crew of the merchant ship watched us come closer, I half expected them to suddenly pull out weapons and shoot us dead.
As if reading my thoughts, the Captain shouted, “If you are nursing any foolish thoughts of resistance, just know that I have all of my cannons loaded and ready to fire. And a crew of desperate men just waiting for a reason to board your ship and murder everyone on board. It is only I who prevent that from happening. I am Captain Peanut Butter.”
It was a short journey to their ship. Although it seemed like an eternity to me. But finally, we climbed on board the merchant ship. The Captain took a moment to survey the ship and the crew. The Captain of the ship walked up to Captain Peanut Butter and began speaking in French.
“I am Sebastian Brun, Captain of The Elise. We are a French merchant ship and under the protection of King Louis XVI.”
“Truly?” Captain Peanut Butter said. He gestured around the ship deck. “I see no King here.” Then he gestured out to sea. “I see no French naval ships.” Then he turned back to the merchant captain and smiled. “Your king appears to be doing a rather poor job of protecting you.”
The Captain looked flustered, then said, “You would do well not to insult my King, pirate.”
At that very moment, both Stout and Barrelhoop drew blades, and Stout shouted, “And you would do well not to insult my Captain.”
A man stepped out from behind the merchant captain.
“Enough. I am Delmore Boissonneau. I own this ship. What are your intentions?”
Captain Peanut Butter smiled as if he was quite amused by the question. I do not know if it was an act or if he was genuinely enjoying himself.
“I am Captain Peanut Butter. Captain of The Jellyfish. I see you are a pragmatic man. I respect that. So, I will get right down to business. I intend to lighten your cargo load by a reasonable amount and allow you to continue on your way with no harm to your ship or crew. Bring me your ship’s manifest and a quill. I shall choose a percentage of the cargo I am interested in.”
The merchant’s anger was plainly visible, but Captain Peanut Butter continued to smile. Captain Brun called to one of his men and ordered him to fetch the manifest, which he did and quickly returned. Captain Peanut Butter scanned the manifest and placed marks next to several items.
“Have your men fetch these crates, and we will be on our way,” Captain Peanut Butter instructed.
Boissonneau looked at the manifest, then looked at Captain Peanut Butter with disgust and ordered his men to do as Captain Peanut Butter had instructed.
As the men retrieved the cargo, The Jellyfish pulled alongside the Elise. The ships were moored together to allow the transfer of the crates. The merchant ship crew placed the crates on the deck, and some of The Jellyfish crew passed them over to The Jellyfish. Meanwhile, Captain Peanut Butter had begun a conversation with the merchant.
“Monsieur Boissonneau. You seem an intelligent man. Why would you risk traveling pirate-infested waters alone?”
“Is it not enough that you have humiliated me with your thievery? Would you have me further wound my pride by explaining my actions?”
“There is no shame in living to sail another day. I would say you have shown abundant intelligence and self-control in not resisting.”
Boissonneau simply grunted.
Captain Peanut Butter continued.
“Am I correct in assuming you are headed to New France?”
Boissonneau did not answer.
“It is no great feat of deduction, I assure you. You are sailing in that direction, and you are a French merchant ship.”
Boissonneau still did not answer. Captain Peanut Butter smiled.
“As you like. I simply wanted to get to know you a little better in case our paths cross again.”
“If our paths cross again, I hope to see you dangling from the end of a rope.”
“It may be as you say. But I intend to avoid that if at all possible. Cheer up. I have taken only a small portion of your profits. You will still walk the docks of New France, a wealthy merchant. Given a less friendly pirate doesn’t spot you before you arrive.”
Once all of the cargo was transferred to The Jellyfish, Captain Peanut Butter turned to Boissonneau and said, “I bid you safe travels, Monsieur.”
Boissonneau erupted. “Enough of your mockery! You disgust me. Leave my ship this moment!”
Captain Peanut Butter continued to smile and replied, “I will. And gladly. But not until I finish transferring the cargo.”
“You have everything you requested. Now go.”
“Like you, I thought I had transferred all the cargo, but your outburst reminded me that I had forgotten that crate you concealed behind those barrels near the stern.”
The merchant quickly changed his tone.
“Forgive my outburst. I am a man short of temper and quick of tongue.”
“Perhaps I should remedy that by taking your tongue with me,” Captain Peanut Butter replied. Then he paused and said, “But I have little need for a sharp tongue. I will take the crate instead.”
“That crate is nothing but my personal belongings. Clothing, letters from my wife, and such. Nothing of value, I assure you. Take any of the other crates instead,” Boissonneau said with a hint of desperation.
“Why do you continue to think me a fool? A shrewd businessman does not hide worthless cargo behind barrels or store it on deck,” Captain Peanut Butter replied.
By now, several of The Jellyfish crew had surrounded Boissonneau and the merchant ship captain. Holding knives to their throats.
“Let’s see these worthless personal belongings. Open the crate, lads.”
As the crate was brought over, Boissonneau began to plead. But his pleading went unheeded. Stout opened the crate, and to my surprise, a young woman in man’s clothing climbed out. She had braided red hair and green eyes, with freckles lightly covering much of her face. She was a version of beauty I had never encountered. I was mesmerized.
Captain Peanut Butter laughed and said, “I have to disagree with you, Monsieur Boissonneau. The crate contains uncommon treasure.”
“She is my daughter. Take anything you want, but leave her unharmed,” Monsieur Boissonneau pleaded.
“I thought you foolish for sailing these waters alone. But I now see you have no sense at all, bringing a girl with you on a merchant ship.”
Captain Peanut Butter smiled at the merchant’s daughter. She returned his gaze with steely eyes.
“Fear not. I will not be breaking up any families this day. But tell me this. Why would you bring your daughter with you knowing the dangers?”
“Do you have a daughter?” Boissonneau asked.
“I do not,” the Captain replied.
“Her mother died when she was six years old, and I had no choice but to bring her with me. She has grown up on ships and has her mother’s Scottish stubbornness. I couldn’t make her stay in France if I wanted to.”
I couldn’t resist her unusual beauty. I walked up to the merchant’s daughter and introduced myself.
“I am Baron Britpop Blastfurnace. I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”
She gave me a strange look, and instantly, I was pulled away by Captain Peanut Butter, who turned to the girl and said, “And I am the King of Jamaica, my Lady. We are all royalty and rulers around here.”
Then he shouted to The Jellyfish crew, “Back to the ship, lads. We are done here.”
Captain Peanut Butter looked at Monsieur Boissonneau and said, “I will leave now and trouble you no more. Except to offer this. Find her a better hiding place.”
As we left, I grinned at the merchant’s daughter like a drunken fool.
Ah, l'amour.