One Minute Wit Collection • 9

Another handful of wit

Mark Starlin

May 05, 2025

Three-Line Conversations

"Jón. Am I getting fat?"

"Not at all, dear. Farmer Ragnar is just a little overdue with the sheering."

“Then why did my front legs just sink into the ground? That's it. No more ice cream."

On The Beat

Jr. Reporter Max Headline

Reporting from West Willow Elementary School

As you will remember, we all drooled over Jimmy’s new cat’s eye marble last week. But Becky’s new steely marbles were the envy of everyone at school today.

In other news, the search for janitor Wipeup’s missing mop bucket ball bearings continues.

Lethal Thoughts

The government wanted me to be in a think tank.

I thought about it but declined.

I don’t like cramped, noisy spaces.

And I certainly don’t want them shooting my thoughts at other people.

I told them they should stick to tank shells.

Sports Team Shirts

I don’t wear sports team shirts.

When you wear one, someone always wants to talk sports with you. And I usually only watch sports during the playoffs, so I am clueless about their questions.

I think I will get a shirt made with my novel’s name on it. Then, no one will bother me.

Mysterious Blue Lights

Don’t You Hate It?

Don’t you hate it when you go camping way out in the desert, and at night, you see a blue beam of light coming from the sky?

So, quite naturally, you go to investigate.

When you get close, you see a tank fly up into the air, start to glow, and then disappear.

You run into the light and look up. You see that the light is actually a super-powered electromagnetic beam generated from a top-secret military satellite, capable of locking onto any metal object with pinpoint accuracy and pulling it into space at speeds so fast that the item burns up in the atmosphere like a reverse meteorite.

Then suddenly, you remember you’re wearing steel-toed boots.