Across The Pond
Endurance Through Trials • Professor Yesteryear Has A Bad Day
One Minute Wit
Endurance Through Trials
Living through the unimaginable
I once survived 30 years without internet access.
Old people are tough.
50-Word Story
Professor Yesteryear Has A Bad Day
“This is quite the pickle, Phelps.”
“Indeed, it is, Professor.”
“Well, we did learn that the time machine works.”
“Quite so.”
“And you are sure its battery has lost all of its charge.”
“Completely.”
“Which plague are they on now?”
“Locusts.”
“Right, then. We better find Moses. How’s your Hebrew?”
Romance In The City
Across The Pond
He is a financial advisor who spends his days making the wealthy wealthier. Work takes up much of his day and socializing is a low priority, so he rarely dates. He fills most of his free time reading. He dreams of one day leaving the city and owning a plot of land where he can garden during the day and read at night.
She spends her workdays selling flowers to young lovebirds in the park. Yet she remains unattached. Not that she doesn’t get asked out, but she has grown tired of men pestering her for a date. When she first started working in the park, she accepted a few of the invitations. They all ended disastrously, so she put up a wall as self-defense. She dreams of one day living in a penthouse that overlooks her beloved park.
Every day, weather permitting, he stops at Andy’s Deli on the way to the park and gets a different sandwich. He always gets the same sandwich on the same day of the week. Then he sits alone in the park and eats his lunch. His favorite bench is located in a quiet spot, with plenty of shade, that overlooks a small pond. After he eats, he reads.
Every day, she sits on her favorite bench eating the lunch she packed at home. The bench sits in a sunny spot on the opposite side of the same small pond. When she finishes eating, she watches the birds swim in the pond or dance in the trees overhead. Sometimes she closes her eyes and lets the sun shine on her face while enjoying the symphony of sounds the park makes. It is her favorite music.
How long they sat on those benches without noticing each other, no one can say. But one special day, perhaps by chance, perhaps by fate, perhaps by divine intervention, they noticed.
Monday
Him: Turkey.
Her: Peanut Butter & Jelly.
Him: Hmm. She is quite attractive.
Her: Hmm. Interesting.
Tuesday
Him: Roat Beef.
Her: Peanut Butter & Jelly.
Him: I’ll bet she’s struggling. She packs a lunch. Perhaps she is an actress or a singer. Creative people make me nervous. They are always doing something artsy or wanting to go out. I like to stay in and read. She would probably find me far too boring.
Her: He must be rich, look at that suit. He is probably a CEO. I’ll bet he dates models and picks them up in limousines. Then flies them to his private island in the Caribbean.
He looks up and they catch each other’s eyes. They both quickly look away.
Wednesday
Him: Virginia Ham.
Her: Peanut Butter & Jelly
Him: I’ll bet she has a garden at home. She probably sings while she gardens as rabbits gather around to hear her beautiful voice and birds join her in song. That’s probably a tomato sandwich made from a tomato she grew herself.
I should have gotten tomato on my sandwich.
Her: Maybe not a CEO. He could be a spy. He looks like a spy. Maybe he is waiting for another spy. That could be their regular meeting spot. I hope he’s not a double agent. He looks too nice to be a traitor. Please don’t be a traitor.
Thursday
Him: Tomato & Bacon.
Her: Peanut Butter & Jelly.
Him: Sunglasses. Smart. Why didn’t I think of that? Because you’re sitting in the shade, stupid. I wonder if she’s looking at me? Maybe she’s a celebrity and doesn’t want to be recognized. Not that you would recognize her. Like that time you talked to that woman on the elevator and afterward, Bob said, “You have no clue who she was, do you? She plays Ziva on NCIS.”
Her: I hope he doesn’t think I wore these sunglasses so I could look at him unnoticed. Although that’s exactly why I wore them. I should take them off. No. That would look even more suspicious.
Friday
Him: Egg Salad.
Her: Peanut Butter & Jelly.
Him: Maybe I should go sit in the sun today. Since I brought my sunglasses. Too late. Here she comes.
Her: I think I’ll try the other side of the pond on Monday. It’s getting hotter out. Some shade would be nice.
Monday he sat at his usual bench but she didn’t show up. She didn’t show up Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday either.
Him: You idiot. She sat there for a week and you did nothing. You should have walked around the pond and talked to her while you had the chance.
Her: I can’t believe George made me move to the other side of the park. I wonder if he noticed I wasn’t there?
Friday, her bench was empty again. He was in no mood to eat. He threw his sandwich in the trash and began walking. Before he realized it he was on the other side of the park.
To his great delight, so was she! Selling flowers at a flower stand.
He smiled, walked over to her stand, and selected a bouquet. He looked at her and said, “I’d like to buy these flowers, please.”
“A good choice. Would you like to fill out a card?” She asked, trying not to show any emotion.
“Yes, I would.”
He filled out the card, placed it on the flowers, and handed the flowers back to her. She gave him a puzzled look.
“Read the card,” he said.
The card said, Thank you for having lunch with me last week. Would you care to join me for dinner sometime?
She picked up a pencil and wrote on the back of the card, I would like that. I get off work at 6:00.
Now, when they eat lunch, they share the same bench.
On the sunny side of the pond.
Happy Monday.
Mark
Love “Across the Pond” ❤️
I remember “Across the Pond”! Love that story!