Putting On My Dancing Shoes
Naming Dogs • Garden Variety Problems • The Blue Planet
One Minute Wit
Naming Dogs
Advice For Kids by Kids
If you name your dog “Runaway” you will probably be waiting a while when you call him.
But if you name your dog “Churro” he might bring you a delicious, cinnamon treat.
Be smart. Name your dog something tasty!
100-Word Story
Garden Variety Problems
“We need to talk,” Rosie said.
She was met with silence.
“I know you don’t like the idea, but it’s necessary. We either speak up for ourselves, or we are going to get cut. Just like last year.”
Again, she got no reply.
“Don’t just stand there cringing and let them do it again. Where is your self-respect? Where is your courage? Where is your voice?”
Nothing. Rosie was furious.
“Here he comes. It’s now or never.”
The man grabbed Rosie and, snip, the damage was done.
It’s hard getting people to listen. Especially when people don’t speak rose.
Humorous Poetry
Putting On My Dancing Shoes
I just got accepted
as one of the contestants
I’ll have to double down
on store-bought decongestants
I have a flabby body
I need to reinvent
I hope I get a partner
with a foreign accent
I may have to switch to drinking
only lemonade
If I want to stun the judges
with my Promenade
I have never tried to Salsa
unless you count with chips
But either way I’ll have to
perform a lot of dips
I’m mastering the steps
to the Lindy Circle
I don’t want to end up
dancing like Steve Urkel
I won’t stop ‘till I’m the champ
the hero of the ballroom
You know I’m going to dazzle
in my Cha-Cha costume
I’ll be getting my tan on
they have it in a spray
You have to look the part
for the Paso Doble
I hope to make it through each week
my plan is to survive
I won’t listen to the judges
or any of their Jive
Like Scaramouch, Scaramouch
I will do the Fandango
The Quickstep and the Mambo
the Foxtrot and the Tango
I will be elegant and stylish
without any glaring faults
Turning heads like Captain von Trapp
dancing the Viennese Waltz
This contest will be
a significantly sized chunk of my personal memoirs
I’m gonna be on
Dancing With The Not Even Remotely Close To Being Stars
Stock Photo Story
The Blue Planet
As humans continued to destroy their home planet, scientists had no choice but to look to the heavens for a second chance.
Finally, they found one. The planet was officially called NBH2746-HOPE, but its popular nickname was The Blue Planet. Because it resembled Earth in color.
Bradley and a team of astronaut/scientists who had cracked the secret to near-speed of light travel set off to scout the planet and report back. Even at close to the speed of light, it took years. It was a one-way trip. Had they returned, centuries would have passed on Earth. It would likely be a dead rock.
Once they landed, the team suited up. They believed the atmosphere was breathable, but they wore spacesuits as a precaution. Once outside, their hopes were confirmed. The air was breathable by humans.
Bradley raised his visor. The landing site appeared to be covered with snow, but it turned out to be a salt flat. Being from Utah, Bradley found it both amusing and comforting. Then he noticed something extraordinary.
The salt flat was dotted with flat, colorful squares. Bradley went to investigate and couldn’t believe his eyes. The squares were vinyl record albums. How was this possible? No humans had ever been here. Or had they?
Bradley kneeled down and picked one up. He recognized the album. It was one of his favorites. He began to weep.
Not because he was happy, but because he suddenly realized he didn’t bring his turntable.
Stock Photo Stories give you the real stories behind the photos. That I might have made up.
Happy Monday.
Mark
I have long believed that the most important prep item for an apocalypse is a hand-wound record player.