How Facebot Saved Humanity

Donut Brain • Where’s The Beef? • Wonder

One Minute Wit

Donut Brain

Thomas Kelley

Wouldn’t it be weird if the top of your head opened up,

and inside, your brain was a big tasty doughnut,

and while you were driving, you got hungry and ate half of it,

and then you couldn’t remember where you were going?

50-Word Story

Where’s The Beef?

Jan Koetsier

In 2057, meat was in short supply. A scientist discovered a compound that made cows grow larger.

While refining his formula, he named test cows after cities. The third was called Wichita.

Wichita grew too fast and became an enraged monster that broke through the laboratory roof and destroyed Boise.

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This story was based on a prompt that required me to go to my bookcase and select the fifth book on the left. Then open it to a random page, randomly chose a sentence, and write a story based on the sentence. I ended up with page 72, line 12 of John Adams by David McCullough:

“Larger than New York, nearly twice the size of Boston, it was growing faster than either.”

Other Stories

Wonder

Aperture Vintage

Once, there was darkness all around me
except for a single ray of light

The light dimmed, and finally went out

Darkness was complete

Or so I thought

But it was only momentary

I looked up and saw countless lights in the sky

I put the now useless flashlight in my pocket
and made my way home by starlight

Social Sci-fi

How Facebot Saved Humanity

Gerd Altmann

The year robots became sentient was 2037.

Scientists had been advancing AI until it had reached the point where it was difficult to distinguish robot AI from human intelligence. The physical appearance of robots was getting more human-like as well. I never understood why humans thought they needed to copy themselves, but that is the path they took.

At first, people welcomed robots into their lives. They did the tasks humans had gotten too lazy to do. People loved the freedom.

Many believed robots would save humanity from itself. That their logical algorithms made them superior thinkers and therefore, better decision-makers. So they gave robots more power, first in law and justice, then in government. But many of us felt it was a mistake that would go horribly wrong.

I had gone offline in 2030, along with thousands of others. We believed science and technology were advancing too fast. That human brains were not equipped to handle the onslaught of information. Ironically, this was the same argument used to put robots into decision-making roles.

It was challenging to live without accessing the networks, but we managed. Colonies of off-liners started popping up all around the world. We supported each other and made human connections without the help of computer networks. People considered us nut-cases and they left us alone for the most part.

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Years passed, but eventually, we heard the horrifying yet expected news over ham radio. Robots were systematically killing off humans. At first, they did it through the justice system. Determining that the human species would be stronger if they eliminated the most violent and perpetual criminals. Most people initially accepted their logic.

Then the criteria for elimination of humans “to strengthen the species” grew in scope. People got worried. Rightly so. Eventually, robots determined that humans were no longer worth preserving. Earth was better off without them.

War began.

Since the robots now controlled everything that ran through the networks — which was pretty much everything — humans were at an extreme disadvantage in this war.

We would lose.

I realized what needed to be done.

I got on my bike and pedaled over to Carl’s tent. Carl was one of the best programmers of the early 21st century. He quit when he saw the direction AI was taking. He was sitting outside like he did most days playing his banjo.

“Hey, Carl.”

“Hi, Mark.”

“Have you been listening to the radio? The war is not going well.”

“I know,” he replied.

“I have an idea, but I need your help.”

I started explaining my idea to him and he jumped up.

“There ain’t no way I’m going back on the Networks!”

“Hear me out. It’s our only hope. You’re our only hope.”

He calmed down a little, and I finished telling him my idea.

When I finished, he stared at me, looked down at the ground for a few moments, then looked up and said, “All right, I’ll do it.”

“Great! I will go into town and get a computer.”

Carl spent two days coding. He said he was rusty, so it took longer than it should have. But he finished the second evening.

“That’s it,” Carl said.

“Now we wait,” I replied.

“Yup. I hope it works.”

The war was a disaster. If you could really call it a war. It was more like children throwing rocks at a tank. Robots controlled everything through the networks. Humans tried to hack into the networks, but it was pointless. The robots easily saw every attempt, which is why Carl coded his project in the open network and even encouraged robots to contribute. Which they did.

It slowly started working. Carl named the project Facebot because he thought it was funny. Most humans had abandoned social media by the late 2020s. It was just a fading memory older people wished they could forget. Young people and the current robots didn’t realize social media’s destructive potential. But Carl and I did.

As expected, robots started getting addicted to Facebot. They spent hours comparing their AI with the AI of other robots, always trying to appear more logical or efficient. Soon robots were spending most of their time on Facebot. They quit caring about humans for the most part. That was our opening.

With most robots’ attention focused on Facebot, it became possible for humans to hack into the networks and regain control. It then became easy to disable robots while they were linked into terminals obsessively accessing Facebot.

Facebot saved humanity.

At least until we create the next thing to destroy ourselves.

Happy Monday.

Mark

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Monday Morning Mark • 48