One Minute Wit
Starlin’s Travel Tips • London
After a sleepless overnight flight,
making six consecutive rotations on the London Eye,
and eating four baskets of fish and chips,
you should wait at least an hour before trying to swim across the English Channel.
50-Word Story
Joe Builds A Garage
Folks thought it was peculiar. Joe didn’t mind; he was a musician. Peculiar goes with the territory.
Still, building a garage without a house raised eyebrows in Littletown.
Joe built the garage with an apartment over it.
Now he has no house payment and can still have a garage band.
Song Parody
Play Trombone
A song parody of Turn To Stone by Electric Light Orchestra
Play the video at the end of the story and sing along!
The bonus room is empty now
Band practice is over
And so I set down my banjo
Turning’, yearnin’, burnin’
A sound I know inside my mind
The mellow tone of my delight
Is everything my heart desires
To hear tonight
I play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
Play trombone, not the saxophone
It makes me yawn
I won’t remember it tonight
That song that always slips my mind
Although I try with all my might
Yearning, yearning
The latin beat that makes me sway
Is here to set a new tempo
So fast it makes it hard to play
A new blues song
I play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
Play trombone, not the xylophone
That would be wrong
Play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
Yes I’m playing trombone cause there’s nobody home
And there’s nobody home cause I’m playing trombone
You’re only gone for so long, so I must play my songs
Yes I’m playing, I’m playing, I’m playing trombone
The polyrhythm I recall
Hits like a cannonball
It makes me want to carry on
Playing, playing
And though I stand here and I play
I play trombone, I play trombone
You will return back here someday
To end my groove
I play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
Play trombone, not the saxophone
It makes me yawn
I play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
I play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
Play trombone, not the xylophone
That would be wrong
Play trombone when you are gone
I play trombone
[The Beatles’ A Day In The Life orchestral interlude homage through fadeout.]
Turn To Stone was the opening track of ELO’s Out Of The Blue double-album in 1977. It reached #18 on the UK charts, #13 on the US charts, and #1 on the Canadian charts. This is likely due to Canadians fondness for curling stones.
Happy Monday.
Mark