Harold Gives Away An Apple

My Ultimate Success? • I’ve Decided To Become A Tycoon

Mark Starlin

Feb 08, 2021

My Ultimate Success?

I was going for broke.

And I made it.

I’m broke.

50-Word Story

Harold Gives Away An Apple

Littletown grocery store owner Harold Produce saw young Jeff Kindly eyeing the apples.

“Help yourself, Jeff.”

“I have no money, Sir.”

“My treat.”

“Truly?”

“Come back tomorrow for another.”

“Thank you, Mr. Produce!”

Mrs. Flush saw the encounter, kissed Harold on the cheek, and said, “Put it on my bill.”

Humor

I’ve Decided To Become A Tycoon

I live in America. Where you can do anything you put your mind to.

So I’ve decided to become a tycoon.

Actually, I am not crazy about the term “tycoon.” It is too similar to “typhoon” which sounds like “baboon” which can be confused with “goon” which rhymes with “moon” and sand “dune.” And while sand is a fine thing when you are at the beach, it is not so appealing when you are traversing a desert. In fact, I’ve been through a desert. On a horse. I can’t remember its name, but the whole experience was rather strange.

Still, people admire the word tycoon. Maybe because it is so infrequently used. Except during the 19th century in Japan when “taikun” was a term for “great lord” used to refer to the Showgun in power between 1857 and 1868. But if you don’t have a time machine, you probably don’t need to know that.

I actually like the term “Baron” better. But it seems to have fallen out of favor after the Railroad era. It was just borrowed from royalty anyway. And although trains are very cool, especially steam locomotives, owning a bunch of them hardly qualifies you as royalty. Neither does wealth. Although most royals are wealthy.

But this is America, people, we don’t need royalty here, we have celebrities.

I don’t mind “Captain Of Industry” either, but it is very nautical sounding and I don’t want to have to dress like Thurston Howell III in the black & white episodes of Gilligan’s Island.

Maybe I’ll invent a new title. How about “Magnipremaximator” or “Crush?”

First things first. I need to pick a business or industry to dominate. I am not interested in any of the old 20th-century industries like transportation, communication, or computing. Or anything math-based. Math is not my strong suit. Or even my leisure suit. I would prefer a relatively new field. I know crypto-anything is big. And so is “hacking” up stuff.

Maybe inventing a whole new category of business would be the way to go. Any suggestions? Preferably something to do with churros.