One Minute Wit
If I Had A Nickel
If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel…
Wait.
I did.
Never mind.
Story
How To Ruin An Awesome Day In A Treehouse
Jimmy is my best friend. He lives across the street and four houses down. He has four sisters. They are pretty. Jimmy thinks they are weird. I only have a brother. He’s weird. I don’t think Jimmy’s sisters are weird at all. He says I act stupid when I am around them, so he comes over to my house most of the time.
One day, near the start of summer vacation, we decided to build a treehouse. There is a forest near our houses with lots of tall trees, so we explored the woods looking for a good tree. Once we picked out the best one, we started gathering wood and nails. Mostly from our Dad’s sheds. Or any other place we could find it. Like behind the grocery store and the hardware store.
After a month of hard work, and lots of bruised thumbs, we had the coolest treehouse ever. It was high enough to see the tops of lots of other trees. It had a rope ladder we could pull up to keep the annoying kids in the neighborhood from bugging us.
One Tuesday, we decided we would camp in the treehouse overnight. There is nothing good on TV on Tuesdays, so it was a good night to go camping. We packed up our comic books, a stack of paper to make paper airplanes with, some beef jerky, chips, cookies, and a thermos full of lemonade.
After climbing the rope ladder, we pulled it up. I think I already told you about the annoying kids in the neighborhood. Jerod is probably the most annoying. He always wants to be in charge of everything. He’s really bossy. We call him Bossy Jerod. We didn’t want Jerod coming up and bossing us around.
We had an awesome day in the tree house, reading comics and feeding squirrels bread from the PB&J sandwiches we packed just in case we got extra hungry. We even saw an owl! When it got dark, we unrolled our sleeping bags and fell asleep to the sounds of the woods at night.
Early the next morning, I woke up to the noise of Jimmy snoring really loud.
I said, “Hey, Jimmy, quit snoring.”
Jimmy said, “It ain’t me. I thought it was you.”
Suddenly we realized the noise sounded a lot like a chainsaw.
Then the tree started leaning.
Silly Poetry
The Animal Olympics
An event on the savanna
Far too big for old Havana
Brought animals together
Just like birds of a feather
A great spectacle to see
None could ever disagree
It brought them from afar
To prove who was the star
The eagle and the beagle
Caribou, gnu, and shrew
The flamingo and the dingo
The cockatoo and ewe
Hippopotamus, llama, and bear
Every kind of animal was there
They slithered, ran, and hopped
They crawled and flew and flopped
There were feathers, scales, and hair
They all wanted to be there
Some came to watch; some came to run
They all would stay ’til it was done
Gorillas beat their chests
While songbirds took requests
Giraffes viewed the games with ease
Monkeys sat up in the trees
The zebras refereed
And watched for a stampede
Heat after heat, the races went
As some advanced and some were spent
At last, they reached the final pair
But one contestant was not there
The kangaroo refused to race
A judge got all up in his face
“What is the problem? Tell me true
We all are waiting just for you”
“I won my races fairly, Mate
This is a fact you can’t debate”
“But I won’t race him, Señorita
It won’t be fair; he is a cheetah”
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
Hey Mark! Looking forward to reading your stories here.
Beautiful!
Alas, once a cheetah, always one.