One Minute Wit
The Elephant Monkey
Jude The Animal Expert Dude
Observation Camp. Serengeti. Day 37. 1700 Hours.
I remain in hiding. Silently watching a long swath of trees with large branches snapped off.
The local helpers I hired have all given up and returned to their village. They continue to believe it was a powerful wind storm that did the tree damage.
I, however, am not so easily fooled. It is obvious to my highly trained scientific eye that the broken branches represent clear evidence of a new undiscovered species of monkey: the Elephant Monkey.
In fact, I have found peanut shells and banana peels near several of our observation spots, which plainly support my hypothesis.
I will continue my work on my own.
— Jude The Animal Expert Dude
Other Stuff
So I Walk
Today is one of those rare days
Mid-70s, blue skies, gentle breeze
Nothing on my calendar
I pull myself away from the keyboard
Life awaits outdoors
Sunshine and shade
Towering trees
Singing birds
Are words more important?
I walk the neighborhood
Chat with Gregory next door
Who is doing yardwork
to relieve the stress of modern life
His yard looks good
I put in my AirPods
Place my music on shuffle
A song from the early 80s
Takes me back to the days of optimism, hope, and faith
Of skinny ties and a new bride
Of joy so complete I didn’t recognize it at the time
I feel my age in my knees on the hills
But it is a small thing
I am blessed to have reached the age of worn joints
To have lived and loved abundantly
To have seen two generations of loved ones follow after me
To walk
So I walk
A Comedy Drama of Western Life
The Lost Trail
-1884-
Some trails are well-known, like the Oregon Trail. Others ain’t even got a name. But every trail leads somewhere. Even if that somewhere is a nowhere town like Busted Wagon.
If you rode the trail into Busted Wagon, your first impression might be that it looks like a fine place to live. The town is well-kept, and folks who live there are hard-working, honest souls who labor together to make Busted Wagon a pleasant place. But that opinion tends to change once folks spend some time there.
Jimmy Dirtseeker was raised in Busted Wagon. He is no stranger to the trail — especially the one that leads to Big River. Jimmy travels to Big River regularly to get wagon parts. Folks ain’t sure if it’s the uneven ground or just bad luck, but the wagons in Busted Wagon tend to break on a regular basis. Sometimes it’s the wheels, sometimes the hitches, sometimes the seats. Regardless, wagons are a continual source of consternation.
Plenty of folks decide the cost of maintaining a wagon are just too dang high and they eventually move on. So the trail out of town gets considerable use.
One morning, Jimmy was preparing to make another trip to Big River for wagon parts when a most peculiar thing happened. As he rode out of town, the trail to Big River was gone. Jimmy knew the trail as well as he knew how to replace a wagon wheel, and he was stopped right where it should have been, but the trail wasn’t there.
Jimmy had never known a trail to go missing before. It was a curious thing. And quite disconcertin’. Jimmy began to wonder if he had gotten lost, but he could see town when he turned around.
Jimmy got off his horse to take a closer look when his horse collapsed to the ground. The thing is, wagons aren’t the only things broken in Busted Wagon. All the horses in Busted Wagon are narcoleptic. If your wagon isn’t busting down, your horse is. It makes for a particularly frustrating life.
So while his horse Dozer was taking a nap, Jimmy pondered what to do next. He figured the best thing to do was eat some the jerky in his knapsack while he waited for Dozer to wake up, so he did. Chewing helped him think. After considerable thought, he reckoned the best thing to do was hire a tracker to track down the lost trail.
Once Dozer roused, they rode off toward the Green Rock Ranch. Sam Bigsniffer was the best tracker in these parts. If anyone could find the lost trail, it was him.
Jimmy arrived at Green Rock and found Sam shoeing a horse in his stable.
“Howdy, Pardner,” Jimmy said.
“Pleased to see you, Jimmy. What brings you way out here?”
“Sam, I need your help. The trail leading to Big River has gone missing. I need you to find it.”
“I’m not following you.”
“The trail between Busted Wagon and Big River is gone. It was there yesterday, and today it ain’t.”
“You been hard at the whiskey, son? Trails take years to disappear.”
“I know it, and I ain’t been drinking. There was a trail there yesterday, and now it’s gone.”
“Well, that’s a new one on me. I’ve lost the trail when I was tracking someone. But I ain’t never heard of no actual trail going missing. This I gotta see.”
So as soon as their horses woke up, the two men rode back toward Busted Wagon.
They reached the spot where the trail disappeared.
“Dadgum. I got to be honest. I didn’t much believe you. But you were right. It’s gone,” Sam said.
“Think you can find it?” Jimmy asked.
“Nope.”
Both men stood there and stared at the lack of trail. Eventually, their horses woke back up, and they went their separate ways.
Over the next couple of days, everyone in Busted Wagon came out to see the wonder of the missing trail. They all agreed it was a most unnatural thing. But there were wagons that needed fixing, so soon it was mostly forgotten. And over time, a new trail appeared in its place.
The mystery of The Lost Trail was never solved. But there’s one thing folks in Busted Wagon know for sure. The west is a wild place.
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
I love so I walk!!! 😍
very much amusing about how it goes. RESPECT FROM INDIA i have also started my substack also subscribe to mine i'm recommending this to my readers for sure