I spent this portion of the tale onboard The Jellyfish and only learned of it upon Captain Peanut Butter’s return. It was a tense time for the crew, for we did not know if he would, in fact, return. But he did. Later, I asked the Captain to write his recollection of the events, and to my surprise, he agreed. His storytelling was quite good—so good, in truth, that I needed to make no changes. Here are the events in his own words.
Pirate ships don’t simply sail into the ports of Europe. We used a rowboat to sneak ashore by moonlight. I kept Stout with me, and Scar Arm took the boat back to The Jellyfish. I told him to meet us in the same spot the following night. If I didn’t show, he was to assume I had been captured and to tell First Mate Barrelhoop that he was the new Captain. I knew it was a risk going to the Grand Duke myself, but what is life without risk? Boring. That is what.
Stout and I followed the map Britpop made of Kapri and arrived at Goatbeard’s office shortly before dawn. Stout picked the lock on the door, and we waited in the office for Goatbeard to arrive. Goatbeard arrived at precisely seven in the morning, along with his man Snoffduffle. He was naturally surprised to see a pirate captain seated in his chair with an unusually large pirate standing next to him.
“What is this?” Goatbeard demanded.
“This is the day you finally meet the Captain of The Jellyfish.”
I could see the realization and then the anger on Goatbeard’s face. But he fought it down.
“So looting my ships at sea is no longer enough? Now, you have come to humiliate me in person?” Goatbeard replied.
“Not at all. I have come because we share a common interest.”
Goatbeard laughed and said, “Not unless you share my desire to see you hang.”
“Obviously, we differ where my welfare is concerned, but perhaps not when it comes to the welfare of young Baron Britpop Blastfurnace.”
“What do you mean?” Goatbeard asked.
“I mean, Britpop is aboard my ship right now.”
“So, you have come to extort money for his release?”
I raised my voice. “Hear me out, old man. I have come here because Britpop’s life is in danger, and the one who wants him dead is likely a member of this village.”
“Explain yourself,” Goatbeard demanded.
I told him the tale of the man who offered silver for Britpop’s death and how Britpop came to be aboard The Jellyfish. When I finished, Goatbeard stared at me in disbelief.
“Captain Desmet was under strict orders to keep Britpop safe. He would never have allowed him to leave with you.”
“He tried desperately to stop it, but Britpop would not be swayed. And Desmet was outnumbered by a crew of armed pirates. He had no choice. The truth of the matter is Britpop wrote a letter to you explaining that leaving with me was his idea.”
“I cannot believe it. This must be some kind of ruse.”
“You are a stubborn old goat. I am trying to help Britpop. If I don’t have him, how do I know he’s from Kapri and where your office is? That Britpop was a blacksmith before he became a Baron. That his servant is named Andelbert. That Andelbert bakes bread. That Britpop’s father is still alive and his only family. And that you offered him free passage to France.
“Enough of this. Someone wants Britpop dead, and if they learn that their plan has failed, they will likely try again. And next time, Britpop may not be so fortunate.”
Goatbeard sat there, silently glaring at me. I decided to play my final card.
“I know this is hard to believe, but I have not come here for money. In fact, I will make you this offer. If you help me find the person who is trying to kill Britpop, I will cut my tax on your ships in half. So, do you want to help Britpop or not?”
Goatbeard stared me down and finally said, “What do you propose?”
“My plan is simple, but it requires the cooperation of you and the crew of the Sea Merchant II. The man who offered your crew silver to throw Britpop overboard doesn’t yet know if his plan has succeeded or failed. We must convince him that his plan was accomplished and Britpop is dead. And that the crew is looking to collect their reward. When he shows up to pay the crew, they will capture him.
But for this plan to work, you must meet the Sea Merchant II as soon as it arrives and explain the plan to the crew. Tell them I will pay the reward they were promised if they follow the plan and capture the man who offered them the money.
I pulled out a pouch and placed it on Goatbeard’s desk.
“Here is the silver for the reward.”
“Keep your silver. I will pay the reward myself. I have nothing but contempt for you, but it appears you are sincere. Tell me why you—a pirate—are doing this?” Goatbeard asked.
“I have my reasons, but like you, I have also grown fond of Britpop. I would not like to see him harmed.”
“On this, we can agree. I will help you with this plan, but only because it benefits Britpop. First, I must see and speak to Britpop myself. Your man will take me to your ship to see him, and my man will detain you here under house arrest until I return.”
“I agree to your terms,” I replied, knowing we were both putting our lives at the mercy of the other’s men.
Goatbeard continued, “And know this. If the plan succeeds, you will have my gratitude for Britpop’s sake, but you will not earn my favor. You are a pirate. You have stolen from me. And I would gladly see you pay for your crimes.”
“I would expect no less or more,” I stated.
That night, Stout took the Grand Duke to the meeting place, and they climbed into the rowboat. Scar Arm looked at Goatbeard and drew his knife.
“Put that away,” Stout said. “The Cap’n agreed to this. Goatbeard will see and talk to Britpop onboard The Jellyfish. Then we will bring him back to shore.”
“Where is the Captain?” Scar Arm asked.
“He is being held by Goatbeard’s man.”
“What? I don’t like this.”
“You don’t have to. Just start rowing.”
They pushed off shore and headed for The Jellyfish.