One Minute Wit
Four Old Guys Go Out To Eat
One Day, Three Meals
Breakfast at IHOP
Wally: “I remember when this place was called the National House Of Pancakes, and a plate of pancakes was only a buck.”
Jack: “That’s nothin’. I used to eat here when it was still the Carolina House Of Pancakes, and a plate of pancakes cost two bits.”
Vern: “You’re both kids. I remember when it was just called the House of Pancakes, and a plate of pancakes cost a nickel.”
Floyd: “Ha! I remember when they invented pancakes.”
Lunch At McDonald’s
Wally: “I remember when McDonald’s had only sold seven hamburgers.”
Jack: “Shoot, I remember when the redwoods were short.”
Vern: “Eat your chicken nuggets. I remember when stone tablets were high-tech.”
Floyd: “Nice try, Junior. But I remember when the Ice Age was just the Slightly Chilly Age.”
Dinner at KFC
Wally: “I remember when we used to have to pluck chickens before we ate them.”
Jack: “I wish we had it that good. We were so poor we ate the feathers too.”
Vern: “That’s stupid. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
Floyd: “The chicken came first. I was there.”
50-Word Story
The River
The whole town congregated around a fresh grave overlooking the stream.
“Never was a man more loved than Sheriff Goodheart,” Pastor Hardy said. “He was a man of justice but also grace. A true servant to the fine people of New Hope. Let’s sing.”
“Shall we gather at the river…”
Based on the Along The Hudson prompt: “Write a fifty-word story that uses the word gather.”
Obstinate Poetry
I’m Stubborn Like That
I tried on a hat
and to my surprise
It slid over my head
and covered my eyes
Still, I got out my card
and purchased the hat
Although it fits poorly
I’m stubborn like that
I went for a horse ride
I’m sure you approve
I said, “Giddy up”
But the horse wouldn’t move
I sat there for hours
engaged in combat
A battle of wills
I’m stubborn like that
I ordered a steak
cooked medium rare
It came out overdone
I started to glare
I called to my waiter
and sent it right back
Then sent back fifteen more
I’m stubborn like that
I post opinions online
because people should see
When it comes to positions
No one’s righter than me
They told me I’m wrong
and backed it up with facts
But I wouldn’t listen
I’m stubborn like that
When I went to vote
My party’s choice made me ill
Is this what we want?
Is this really our will?
So I plugged my nose
and I felt like a rat
But I voted for him anyway
I’m stubborn like that
I met a true beauty
She lived far away
She said that she loved me
and asked me to stay
But I like the city
where I set my hat
So I live here lonely
I’m stubborn like that
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
I'm like the 4 old guys now, enjoyed today's post
Four old guys had me laughing out loud. Loved the whole newsletter!