How I Became An Intergalactic Superstar

Space Traveler Fargone • Episode 1

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Six months ago, I was a grunt pilot on the space freighter Big Cargo Ship 3, flying freight for Titanic Galactic Shipping. After making a delivery on the planet Repetition 222, I had a few days off. I decided to visit the nearby planet Farismitron and stopped at a donut shop for a dozen.

[I get peckish when I fly.]

The donuts were killer, so I decided to post a space log about it on SpaceBook.

Splog Entry: Farismitron

If you ever go to the planet Farismitron, don't eat the donuts.

If you do, you will no longer be satisfied with Earth donuts.

And it is a long trip to Farismitron just to get donuts.

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I got a few likes and laughing emojis, so I decided to make the splogs a regular thing. On my next trip, I posted about a creature I encountered.

Splog Entry: Shredding Machine Of Death

The planet was uncharted.

I couldn't resist.

After landing my spaceship, I set out to explore.

Stretched out before me was a vast landscape.

Green and lush.

It was beautiful.

Unspoiled by any man until the very moment I arrived.

Then I saw a great creature on the horizon.

It was taller than many buildings.

It had three elephant trunk-like appendages, each with multiple razor-sharp claws.

It started twirling its three trunks in circular motions, turning them into a triple-threat shredding machine of death.

Then it began charging at me.

It was insanely fast.

I had two choices.

Take a quick photo with my com and post it on Interstellargram before my imminent demise.

Or get back in my ship and leave.

If you check my Interstellargram account, you will discover that I chose the second option.

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My SpaceBook follower count kept rising, and people were commenting. So I tried something different to see if I could get a bigger reaction.

Splog Entry: Planet Of Loud Voices

I just visited a planet where everyone's voice sounded exactly like someone talking through a megaphone.

Then I realized I was actually on Earth, at a family reunion.

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My follower list exploded. I went from a couple hundred to a couple hundred thousand followers overnight.

The following month was busy, and I didn't get to make any side trips. But I did make a quick stop at a tiny planet on my return.

Splog Entry: Planet Joe

I landed on the planet Joe.

Everything was just like Earth in the 1940s. At least like the 1940s in the movies I've seen. So I went into a diner and sat in a booth.

A waitress walked over to me and said, "What can I get ya, Doll."

"Just a cup of coffee, please," I replied.

"Alright, one cup of Earth coming right up."

I wasn't expecting that.

But I guess it makes sense on a planet named Joe.

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The next day, I got a call from Cal Huckster, the head of marketing at TGS (Titanic Galactic Shipping.)

"Fargone, I've been reading your splogs on SpaceBook. We are pulling you off freighter duty," Huckster said.

"Whoah! Hold on. The splogs were just for fun. I need this job. I will quit posting them."

"No! We want you to keep them coming. In fact, we want you to do it full-time."

"You want me to fly around and write about what I encounter?"

"Exactly. We will be providing you with your own ship. The top-of-the-line, fastest ship available. We want you to travel far and wide and report what you find."

“What's the catch?"

"No catch. You simply have to mention TGS in each post. Did I mention we are doubling your salary?"

I was speechless.

"You still there, Fargone?"

"Yeah. I guess you got yourself a space traveler."

"Excellent. I will see you at the hanger tomorrow and show you your new ship."

That's how this madness all started. And there was plenty more to come. 

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I’d love to hear your comments.