Four Old Guys Go To A Concert
Chump Change • Theodore The Amazing Finds An Assistant
Thoughts While Walking
Chump Change
If they are so foolish,
how come chumps end up with all the change?
Microfiction
Theodore The Amazing Finds An Assistant
Theodore The Amazing was a magician. He had traveled the magic circuit for a decade without success. After yet another underwhelming show, Theodore drove his beat-up Studebaker to his next show in Tuscaloosa.
On a remote stretch of road, Theodore was suddenly bathed in a blinding light. He hit the brakes and screeched to a stop. Theodore got out of the car and watched some kind of ship come down from the sky and land. A woman appeared and approached him faster than was humanly possible. The woman grabbed Theodore and threw him to the ground.
The ship exploded and threw metal fragments in every direction. One piece hit the woman, leaving a deep slash on her arm. She began to bleed, then amazingly, her cut began to heal. In a matter of seconds, any trace of the cut was gone.
“Who are you?” Theodore asked.
“I am Deeza. From the planet Rellan. I had to escape because my powers scared those living on my world.
“What powers?”
“I can heal from any injury in moments.”
“I am afraid you will meet the same fate here on Earth. But I may have a solution.”
The next night, at the Tuscaloosa show, Theodore introduced his new assistant and performed a new trick. As the crowd looked on in horror, Theodore ran the blade of a sword through Deeza. She fell lifeless onto the stage. Amid gasps, Theodore said a magic spell, and the wound healed.
Theodore The Amazing became famous.
Based on the prompt: Write a microfiction story containing the following five words: Magic, slash, spell, blade, and bleed.
Old Guys
Four Old Guys Go To A Concert
In The Park. On a Saturday. I think it was the 4th of July.
Wally: Did I ever tell you about the time I played congas with Desi Arnaz?
Jack: Right after you fell off the monkey bars and hit your head?
Vern: I went to The Monkey Bar in Cuba back in the 50s. They had a monkey who sat up in a fake tree. If you looked at him, he would throw a peanut at your eye. He was good at it too. A lot of guys walked out of there looking like Popeye.
Floyd: I love Lucy.
Wally: I’m serious. I was a waiter at the time at The Tropicana Club in Miami. The Desi Arnaz Orchestra was scheduled to play. One of the percussion players got sick right before the show and couldn’t go on. I overheard Desi asking his music director if he could get someone to fill in. I jumped at the chance. I told him I played. He auditioned me, and I got the gig.
Jack: Right! That reminds me of the time I filled in for Buddy Rich on drums in Tommy Dorsey’s band.
Vern: Yeah, and I filled in for Sinatra in Vegas once when he got sick.
Floyd: I filled in for Sonny Bono on The Sonny & Cher Show. I wore a wig and a fake mustache. No one knew the difference. I mean, it’s not like anyone was looking at Sonny. Cher didn’t even know.
Wally: Joke if you want. It happened. We did a conga duel on Babalu. After the show, he said, “Kid, you’re real good. But here’s some advice. Never play better than the star. You’re fired.”
Jack: Is that why you do everything so poorly now?
Vern: Like grilling burgers. I played hockey with the last one you gave me.
Floyd: Did I ever tell you about the time I played hockey with Desi Arnaz?
Wally: Alright. Yuck it up. I was going to tell you about Lucy. But not now.
Jack: You met Lucy?
Vern: Yeah, right before the restraining order was issued.
Floyd: Back in the 40s, they would have had to restrain me. Wowza! What a looker.
Wally: She was very nice. I met her backstage after the show while I was waiting to talk to Desi. She said, “You’re gonna get fired. But I loved it!”
Jack: That was sweet. And funny.
Vern: I liked her better in black and white.
Floyd: I like you better in a Black and White cab leaving town.
Wally: Switching to color ruined a lot of TV shows. Gilligan’s Island. The Andy Griffith Show.
Jack: Color didn’t ruin Andy Griffith. Barney Fife leaving did.
Vern: Imagine Barney and Lucy together in a show.
Floyd: That would be crazy. I’d pay to see that. Back then. Not now.
Wally: You’re weird, Floyd. Sort of like Floyd on The Andy Griffith Show.
Jack: That was him!
Vern: I wouldn’t let him cut my hair.
Floyd: If you had any.
The crowd begins to applaud as the band walks on stage and begins to play.
Wally: What kind of music is this?
Jack: You call this music? I’ve heard four guys farting together that sounded better.
Vern: Hey Wally, maybe they will let you sit in on congas.
Floyd: Remember to stink.
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
Those four old guys must have been in show business, with all that name dropping....
Barney and Lucy, maybe on the fourth of July! I need to go to the park with you guys! 😅