Life
A Good Day
I once tried digging to the center of the Earth.
I didn’t make it.
But I did find a quarter.
So overall, a good day.
One Minute Wit
Aspirations Of A Dog
Most dogs are content to be who they are. Loyal companions to the humans who care for them. They have simple needs. Food, water, and being walked so they can take care of dog business.
But not Duchess. She had aspirations unusual to her species. No one is quite sure where this ambition came from, but it is speculated that it came from watching television. Regardless of where the idea came from, Duchess would not be deterred from her goal.
Duchess lived with Kenneth Gogetter, a self-help guru on social media. It is quite possible that Duchess was influenced by the daily affirmations and self-help videos that Kenneth made. If Kenneth believed he could attain his goals by dogged pursuit of them, then why shouldn’t a dog be able to do the same?
It seemed logical to Duchess.
The other dogs in the neighborhood told Duchess she was crazy. That her dream was impossible. Duchess didn’t listen to them. They were just lazy dogs, after all. They laid around the house all day while she was hard-working and relentless. She would achieve her goal. She was sure of it.
So, every morning, Duchess continues to do her neck stretching exercises. “It may take years,” she thought. “But one day, I will be a giraffe.”
Jude The Animal Expert Dude
The Serengeti Tree Snake
My latest animal adventure has brought me to the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania. Home to one of nature’s most unique creatures. The Serengeti Tree Snake.
The Serengeti Tree Snake is a deceptive creature known for its scales, which appear exactly like tree bark. At an early age, it burrows its head into the ground and becomes vertically rigid, appearing to be a tree. It then enters an intense state of hibernation that can last several decades.
Amazingly, over time, the Serengeti Tree Snake evolved the ability to grow appendages that appear like branches and leaves. And the ability not to flinch even when birds with sharp talons build nests in its imitation leafy tail section.
Its camouflage is so complete that you can cut a Serengeti Tree Snake down and build furniture out of it — due to its wood-like interior flesh — without it awakening.
No one knows how long Serengeti Tree Snakes live due to the fact that they are usually chopped down or pushed down by elephants (who hate snakes) before they can awaken from hibernation.
Although it has never been witnessed by human eyes, I believe that when they awaken from hibernation, Serengeti Tree Snakes take on the appearance of other Serengeti snakes through a process of metamorphosis. Explaining why they have never been witnessed outside of their hibernating state. And demonstrating their mastery of camouflage.
Truly remarkable.
Special thanks to local guide Akanni for sharing his expertise on this marvelous creature. Well worth the $150, my friend.
— Jude The Animal Expert Dude
Happy Monday. Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
Substack needs more silliness these days - thank you for providing the necessary!
I can always count on you for some fun. Thanks for the laughs!
The digging story got me thinking...how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I can see you writing a quirky story about it. 😄