A Big Gulp Of Success Juice
Category Story • 3
In the previous episode, our hero used secret technology to look into the future and discovered the method robots would use to take over the world. Which he quickly put a stop to. Then, he decided to start a new business.
This chapter will begin with my actual thought process transcribed for your benefit. I am granting you a rare glimpse into the mind of an entrepreneurial genius. By studying my unimaginable business intellect, you may glean a nugget of insight you can incorporate into your business thought process. It will be like drinking a big gulp of success juice.
Thirty minutes.
Tick, tock, tick.
I need an idea.
I need a brainstorm.
I need a new business.
I need to create something that has never been done before.
I need to dominate.
I need to be untouchable.
Even Congress, with its silly monopoly laws, won’t be able to stop my juggernaut of business acumen.
Like the railroad barons and the computer nerds before me, I will attain wealth beyond imagination by simply having the right idea at the right time.
I need a groundbreaking idea.
Transportation, done. Computers, done. Communications, done. Space, done. Entertainment, done. Social Media, done. I need to invent a new category of business to dominate.
What will people need in the future? I’ve got it!
Digital clothes.
Yes!
Of course, I must still invent the technology that will allow computer code to change indestructible, morphable fabric into different outfits. I will also need to create indestructible, morphable fabric. But how hard can that be?
With my mobile app, people can grab their phones and speak in the type of clothes they want to wear that day, and it will appear in their closets. Ready to wear. One set of clothes can be millions of sets of clothes, never out of fashion. Never worn out.
If you see someone in the same dress, grab your phone and change your dress. No more awkward parties.
If you forget it’s Dress Up Friday, grab your phone and boom! You are sporting a sporty suit.
I am going to be stupid richer.
I will switch to first-person narration now. Spending too long in my thoughts might be too much for your brain to handle.
Naturally, I realized inventing a whole new industry and the required technology from scratch would be a lengthy process. Was I deterred? Negatory. Not Mr. Category. I have been planning for this moment all my life.
Actually, to get a jump on my competition, I started my startup before I was born. Sure, it was difficult. But I say, ‘Go big, or don’t get born.’
No time for fooling around, I started writing code in my crib. As I got older, I realized that I would need to pretend to do regular human stuff, like go to school and get a job, to lull the competition into a false sense of security. While the world slept, I coded.
Fast forward two years by using my super-secret Mr. Roboto’s excellent technology.
My first attempts at digital clothes were not great. The fabric I invented had a tendency to harden after several hours of wear. Leading to people stuck in their office chairs or looking like John Travolta in a movie poster for Saturday Night Fever. I also had some issues with software bugs early on, leading to clothes changing every five seconds. Cool if you are Cher or Elton John, but not practical for everyone else.
But I persisted, and my prototype was ready. Then I needed to find a foreign country to manufacture millions of them super cheap so I could charge big bucks (they’re worth it!) and earn gazillions in profit. Of course, fake versions and knock-offs will soon follow. But by then, I will be sitting on a pile of cash higher than Mount Everest. And the one with the most money wins. This is well-known.
I will use my wealth to buy power and my power to get everything I ever wanted. Then, I will realize getting everything you ever want all the time is no fun. It is like gambling in Vegas and never losing. It is fun at first, but soon, there is no thrill. No challenge. It makes you grumpy and narcissistic.
So, making a complete U-turn on personal empire-building, I will start giving my money away to charities and trying to improve the world for others, not just myself.
At least, that’s the plan. Unless I change my mind. Which is possible. I’m kind of wishy-washy.
We will now return to the present time.
Before I go, here is one more free nugget of entrepreneurial advice:
Working for other people is for fools. Everyone on Earth should be their own boss. Except for the people I hired to make my digital clothes. You should work for me. That’s smart.
Realizing that I might need a designer to design some awesome swag for my new industry, I decided to become a designer myself. That’s what we billionaire entrepreneurs do when we can’t just buy something.
To be continued.
Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
Sheer madness. Mr Roboto blends right into our whirled. Say! Let me know when his/its/their focus on digital clothing runs its course. I have a new category I would like to propose for this genius.
Sounds about as realistic as a replicator or transporter. Beam me up!