One Minute Wit
Secrets
Don’t you hate it when you feel so bad that you yell out your deepest, darkest secret?
And then you suddenly remember you have a parrot.
85-Word Story
For Sentimental Reasons
Daniel and Vivien danced slowly as the big band played. Daniel gazed into Vivien’s eyes. Vivien smiled. Although they were both well into their senior years, their love was new.
The band began playing For Sentimental Reasons. A tear ran down Daniel’s cheek. Vivien saw it and stopped dancing.
“What wrong, Darling?” Vivien asked.
“This was Margaret’s favorite song. Before the cancer took her. I haven’t danced to it with anyone else. Until now. Your love has revived me.”
A tear ran down Vivien’s cheek.
Here is the song that inspired the story. The Nat (King) Cole Trio had the best-selling version of the song in 1946. It spent twelve weeks on the Billboard Best Seller chart peaking at number one.
Story
Dwib and Thwip Find Earth
Dwib and Thwip had been cruising the galaxy, as they were prone to do. Their home planet of DwaFwipSwaw had grown boring to them. Everyone was only interested in themselves. Becoming a better Dwa to become a Fwip, and then becoming a better Fwip to achieve a place as a Swaw was all anyone cared about. But Dwib and Thwip figured being a Dwa was good enough for them.
So they packed their lunches and headed out for another galaxy cruise, in search of intelligent life not so consumed with advancement. Perhaps they could find beings to befriend, they thought.
As the galaxy is a big place, they had been exploring for centuries without finding any signs of intelligent life. Then they noticed a bright blue planet in the distance.
“That looks like a good candidate for life. Shall we investigate?” Dwib asked Thwip.
“I think we must,” Thwip replied.
So they circled the Earth a few times, looking for a suitable place to land.
“Did you see that?” Thwip said.
“See what?” Dwib asked.
“Some kind of creature just flew by. It is long and pointy and has protrusions on both sides.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, it has been following us. I don’t think it is a creature. I think it is a vehicle of some sort. I saw something moving inside of it. ”
“And you didn’t think it was worth mentioning?”
“I figured you would see it soon enough. And I was correct.”
“You are infuriating sometimes.”
“Nah, just a Dwa.”
“The Dwaest of Dwas.”
“Just like your Dwa Pa.”
“Hey, no need for insults.”
“Sorry. I was just focused on finding a place to land. I think that huge landmass in the center is our best option.”
“Works for me.”
So Dwib gently set their ship down in the Serengeti plains of Africa.
As they got out, they saw countless animals running around and birds flying overhead.
“This place is teeming with life,” Thwip said.
“Yeah, we need to find some to talk to,” Dwib replied.
But every animal they approached ran or flew away.
“They must be scared of us.”
“Have you checked a mirror lately? It’s no surprise.”
“Har, har.”
“Let’s split up. It will double our odds of finding someone to talk to.”
“Alright.”
Dwib walked a while and raised Thwip on his com.
“I think I found someone. A large creature of a golden color with lots of hair around its head. It walks on four legs and has a tail. It is staring right at me and approaching slowly. I think it wants to greet me.”
Thwip replied.
“I have also found someone interesting. It is a tall creature covered in black hair who has risen up onto two legs and is beating on its chest with two arms. It must be a local greeting. I am approaching to see if I can communicate.”
Just then, the lion roared and pounced on Dwib.
Dwib’s final words were, “Ahhhhhh!”
At the same exact moment, the gorilla leaped on Thwip and began pounding him to a pulp.
Thwip’s final words were, “Nooooo!”
The lion and gorilla apparently didn’t like visitors.
Later that day, an earthquake ripped a fissure in the plains that swallowed Dwib and Thwip’s ship. Any proof of their visit was lost, except for the Air Force recording of their flyby.
Two thousand years later, an archeologist discovered the bones of Dwib and Thwip and wrote a paper describing the discovery of a new type of Homo Erectus.
Back on DwaFwipSwaw, the lost pair of Dwas were hardly missed. It’s not like they were Swaws.
Happy Monday.
Mark
Dwib and Thwip Find Earth
Secrets - I’m fairly certain there’s been several instances where parrots helped solve crimes. Be careful what you say around talking birds!
For Sentimental Reasons - Love and time heals all wounds.
Dwib and Thwip Find Earth - Poor Dwib and Thwip. Let this be a lesson though; don’t go to unfamiliar places without doing your research!
Dwib and Thwip Find Earth was lots of fun.