Once I Was A Cowboy
A Quest • Swift As The Wind • A Tale Of Yard Work Gone Wrong
One Minute Wit
A Quest
I’ve been around the world,
trying to find someone who knows what the word circumference means.
50-Word Story
Swift As The Wind
The city was cold. It turned many hearts the same way.
So Charity ran. Swift as the wind. She ran.
Not running away. Running to feel alive.
Charity felt alive when she ran. So she ran.
Swift as the wind.
The park was her track.
Until she won the gold.
Other Stories
Once I Was A Cowboy
Once I was a cowboy.
Then I wasn’t.
So I rode.
I didn’t know why. I just rode.
Before long I was covered in dust, and tired. But I kept riding.
I discovered why some cowboys carry guitars or harmonicas and play sad songs.
And I rode.
Sometimes the trail was clear and easy.
Sometimes I had a hard time finding my way.
Sometimes I found a refreshing stream or shady tree or a cool breeze.
Sometimes it rained.
Still, I rode.
Sometimes I arrived at a town.
Often I enjoyed my stay, but never for long.
Mostly I slept in the desert.
Sometimes a stranger offered me kindness.
Those were good days.
Sometimes I was robbed.
I survived.
And I rode.
Once I found a gold coin buried in the dirt and I experienced hope.
Then I rode.
One day I rode by a man on a wagon.
I said, “Howdy stranger. How’s the trail treating you?”
He replied, “It has its moments. Are you hungry?”
I was in need of some human company so I said yes.
We made camp.
While we ate around the campfire he told me a story about good things that waited at the end of the trail.
It was a heartening story, told with such conviction I reckoned it was true.
I rode with him for a long time after that.
Then his journey ended.
I continued down the trail again.
Once I was a cowboy.
Then I wasn’t.
So I rode.
Weird Tales
A Tale Of Yard Work Gone Wrong
Don’t you hate it when you are out mowing your lawn, and you step into a sinkhole created by bees who then give you a dozen “welcome to my nest” stings?
And as you are swatting them away and trying to climb out of the sinkhole, the bottom of the bee’s nest breaks open and turns into a steep tunnel.
Then you start sliding down the tunnel deeper and deeper into the inner reaches of the Earth.
And as you continue to slide, you are pretty sure you see some amazing stone architecture with dwarves working on it. But it’s pretty dark so you can’t really tell for sure.
Someone yells, “You shall not pass.” But you do anyway.
Then you feel it getting hotter and hotter, and you realize that you are heading for an active volcano conduit full of lava. And you start sweating profusely.
Suddenly, you remember that your lawnmower is self-propelled. And you finally realize what that “rabbit” setting on the lawnmower is for.
So with extreme effort, you manage to spin the lawnmower around, put it on the rabbit setting, and hold on while it pulls you back up to the surface.
Then you lay on the lawn covered in dirt and bee sting welts. And when you catch your breath, you notice that the bottoms of your shoes are almost completely burned off. And you think “Now I have to go buy a new pair of sneakers. And move the rest down the shoe chain.”
Then you see your neighbor’s lawn service show up.
I hate that.
The first sentence is true. The rest might be an exaggeration.
Happy Monday.
Mark
Once I Was A Cowboy
Totally hate that. The yard work gets me every time…
I mowed lawns to make money, grades 7-12. Just a couple of lawns, to begin with, then one or two more each year. By the summer before my senior year, it felt like my life revolved around mowing grass. My work boots were stained green, permanently, and some days I thought my nails were. If there was rain for a few days I'd be pushing the mower until dusk to make up time.
I have not mowed a lawn or owned a mower since. Nope, there are very nice people out there who have invested in nifty equipment that does a very nice job very quickly.
Yes, I am that neighbor. The one with the lawn service. Pleased to meetcha!