Fresh Baked Friday • 9

Cruel Party Tricks • The Harvest

Mark Starlin

Jan 7

One Minute Wit

Cruel Party Tricks

Whenever I have writers over, I make them play charades.

It kills them when they can’t use words.

Story

The Harvest

The night sky lit up when they came. Countless spaceships, each as large as a city. The whole world looked up in shock.

One ship sent a shuttle down, landing in an open field. Then nothing happened. Crowds began gathering. News media swarmed the field. The army tried to secure the area, but it was useless.

Once the ship was surrounded, the front of the ship opened, and a ramp appeared. An alien being walked out of the ship and began to speak.

“Earthlings, you have a beautiful planet, yet you carelessly abuse it. Your population continues to grow, and your resources are taxed to the limit. You have poisoned the very home you live on.

“Therefore, it is time. We must harvest before the crop is spoiled.”

“What crop?” A reporter shouted.

“Humans, of course. We planted you here. Now we must bring in the harvest and feast.”

There was outrage and commotion in the crowd. The alien waved his hand, and everyone fell to the ground, dead. Everyone except me.

I was stunned at the carnage.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” I asked.

“We need seedlings for the next crop. You will be sent to another planet with 10,000 other humans. You will not remember this day. And you will populate your new world in time for the next harvest.