Advice From Old Folks On How To Live Longer • 14
Wally "Gator" Windswept-Age: 90
If young people understood the actual value of advice from old folks, most old people would be filthy rich, spending their days cruising the Caribbean on their yachts. Or dining on overpriced meals at fancy restaurants run by far-too-angry chefs who need to learn to enjoy life and appreciate their co-workers before their hearts explode. Or cruising the Autobahn in their new BMW sports car, or Aston Martin if they are feeling a bit “Bond-ish.” Or relaxing at their vacation villa on their private island. Or traveling the globe first-class, hobnobbing with celebrities and royals.
But unfortunately, people choose to ignore this valuable resource and turn to social media for advice. I know it is ridiculous, but it’s true. People actually believe a lot of the nonsense “experts” post on Facebook.
But anyone who has lived long enough to remember when television was black & white knows that you watch your step when you walk in a cow pasture. And that is what social media is — a minefield full of huge piles of inexperienced, uninformed advice from those who can’t resist sharing their opinion about everything.
Of course, young people could easily access great advice from old folks if publishers had just come to their senses and published my book, Super Useful Tips To Squeeze More Days Out Of Our Meager Human Lifespan.
But no! Publishers think there is no market for it. They only want Bigfoot Vampire Romances featuring Zombie therapists.
So I am forced to post this invaluable advice online. Hoping that young people will accidentally click on it while searching for AI advice.
Anyway, kids, savor each tip. Allow them to soak in and become part of your consciousness. Then incorporate them into your lifestyle.
Here is tip number 14:
Don’t try to water ski behind an airboat in the Florida Everglades.
You won’t get quality life advice like that on TikTok. Thanks, Wally!
Thanks for reading and responding. You make it fun.
Mark
"Social media IS "a minefield full of huge piles of inexperienced, uninformed advice from those who can’t resist sharing their opinion about everything." So, thank you, Wally. Those poor young folks have never even seen a real cow pie, so how would they know?....
Two comments, Mark.
I have some experience with this advice, having finished college in Florida. There's nothing more bracing than falling off your water skis at 2am, and what you hear is not the boat coming around to find you, but some bull alligator doing its rendition of 'It Had to be You.'
But I must say, I've seen more than a few Bigfoot Vampire Romances featuring Zombie therapists, and some are quite entertaining. Depends on the writing of course.